ESPN PR honcho Josh Krulewitz did a tweet Friday about an old SportsCenter ad featuring Roger Clemens and Cam Neely getting lost on their way to Bristol. It reminded me of my own experience just a few weeks ago.
And now I must share.
When I decide to take on this sports media endeavor, I know I have to make a voyage to Mecca, a.k.a. the land of many satellite dishes. I need to start filling my notebook and kiss everyone’s rings.
I initially plan to rent a car on a bright Tuesday afternoon when my plane lands at the Hartford airport. But I’m tired, and have a tight time issue with an appointment at ESPN. I decide to splurge and spend the $75 for the 45-minute ride to Bristol.
I tell the driver, “You know the way to ESPN in Bristol, right?”
He says, “Sure.”
Why should I doubt him? There must be scores of people going from the airport to Bristol every day. Some of them even important, much more so than me.
So I relax and gaze at the Connecticut countryside. The WWL headquarters are in the middle of nowhere, but my eyes brighten when I see the sign for Bristol. Good, I think, I’ll be there shortly.
Little do I know that my adventure is about to begin.
The driver gets off at a Bristol exit and then drives around for about 10 minutes. We pass an Aldi supermarket and a strip mall that has a Haunted House store front. Very glamorous, this Bristol.
After a series of left and right turns, it suddenly dawns on me. He has no idea where he’s going.
“You’re lost, right?” I ask.
No real reply as he nervously looks at his Garmin. OK, I had the address and he quickly plugs it in.
Within a few minutes, we stumble on to a business park that has a big ESPN presence. However, we’re not on the street in the address and I don’t see any satellite dishes.
“I don’t think this is it,” I say. And it wasn’t. Later, I learn it is another facility for people who aren’t working in the main facility, the one I want to find.
That’s when Garmin starts to go crazy. Every time we make a turn, Garmin starts to do the “recalculating” thing. I feel like the guy in the Allstate “Mayhem” ad. At one point, Garmin tells us to turn right, but there’s no street; only the side of a hill.
This goes on for about another 10 minutes. Now I’m fuming.
Finally, I call Diana in Josh’s office. I say, “You’re not going to believe this, but I have the only cab driver in Hartford who doesn’t know how to get to ESPN.”
Somehow, Diana figures out our location and guides us in. Finally, I see it on the left: The land of many satellite dishes.
Relieved, I get out my cab and see Chris Mortenson. How nice, ESPN arranges for Mort to greet me. Actually, we arrive at the same time. He probably tweets three scoops by the time we reach the front door.
My extended tour of beautiful Bristol finally is over.
Moral of the story: Don’t assume every cab driver in Hartford knows how to get to Bristol. And next time, I rent a car.